In Search of Happiness.
The individual is a mid-thirties woman who came to Bali in search of a better life. This is normal, people often move to a new place for a fresh start. She is divorced, from Sumatra and has a young son back home. Her son is being taken care of by her parents. This is a very normal occurrence in Indonesia. The kids are not considered abandoned. This used to be quite common in Europe as well. Not so much now, but here it can be considered the norm.
She arrived here with hopes of landing a job, which she did. She got lucky, many do not find a job right off the bat. However, as I got to know her a little, I heard the darker side of her story.
Bali Is Paradise, or Not.
Many aspects of Bali appeal to locals and foreigners. To locals, the difference is, well different. It is like me moving from Toronto to Vancouver. The city will be the same in a matter of days because my activities do not change unless I do.
These people move from one city to another and their life does not change. If you were a lonely, sad soul in Sumatra, you would be a lonely sad soul in Bali. Your location has changed, but you have not. The immediate beauty and freedom of Bali hits hard. You are now free to wear whatever you want. Act as crazy or as stupid as you wish and someone will outdo you in a blink of an eye. You did it, you moved and you tried hard to shed your skin but you are not the snake you thought you were.
Curl Up and Die.
This individual has tried to change but reverted to her old ways in a matter of weeks. As I laid out in part one, the cost of living and the low salaries will prevent you from living the life you want. This comes on quickly! If you come here with no money, you will quickly run out and end up curled up in your small rental room and live the same life you lived back home.
Unfortunately, this person has also started drinking…
So here we go on the downward spiral. Now without money, no “real” friends… I say real because she has lent money to new friends, got scammed for doing good and now she is even more lost than she was when she arrived. Lost in paradise and lonely. This loneliness leads to more drinking and isolation because she cannot afford to live the life she sees in paradise. Life is hard and drinking alone is even harder. I hate drunks, yup I said it and am proud of it. I don’t hate the person, I hate the excuse. “I am sorry I didn’t know what I was doing, I was drunk” Damn that irks me. I had to help this person call a cab after one of our meetings and it brought back many bad and distant memories.
While I have plenty of experience with alcoholics, this is one case I wish to run from. I gave her the hard facts about drinking and the repercussions of it all. I am unsure if she will take my advice. I feel sorry for her, however, drinking is a big red flag for me. I wish her all the best.
