The Cheating Partner.
As the anniversary of my TikTok came about I realized I was ready for this!
So here is how shit went down. Loyalty, as I have discovered is not most people’s top priority. For some, it is an advancement on a social scale. For some, it’s money or fame. Checking out most people’s social media in a model wanna-be pose and posing with or in front of fancy places, never smiling and always looking top-notch. Well, that ain’t me that’s for sure. Where am I going with this? I am going here to lead into what happened.
Many people say that going on a trip with a possible partner and spending 2-3 weeks together without thinking of or killing your partner is a great way to establish whether you two are compatible or not. Well, let me tell you that this idea is very wrong.
I Thought We Were Perfect.
As COVID-19 rolled in, my then-girlfriend and I got stuck in the Jakarta apartment I lived in for over three months. Yup, complete lockdown and nowhere to go but the tennis court and short walks around the complex with our masks on.
So how about the 2-3 week trip thing? We did 3 months and passed with flying colors. I mean we didn’t fight and since I thought we all had the perfect matching personalities. Passing such a test would mean a perfect life partner, or so I thought.
Compatibility on all levels is impossible but by passing such a test when most people were getting divorced, we were getting closer. Or so I had thought. As this relationship was somewhat of a long-distance one, there had to be trust and loyalty. Or so I thought. Seeing each other for a week or so each month was not a completely long-distance relationship.
The Consistency.
Generally, we can tell when people are lying. They do not tell the truth or are misleading it will come out eventually. I like to think I am not stupid and or blind. However, when I found out that my ex was cheating on me for nearly two years out of a four-year relationship, I began to question my judgment of people.
This is sad because we need to be able to trust and hope we meet good loyal people in the future. How do you get past someone who had the wool pulled over your eyes? Well, maybe you do not get past it but learn from it. How do you trust someone new in your life and the future? Will I change my ways? I may not change my ways. I trust people till there is a reason not to. But I will look for changes in behavior as I realize that there were changes in her behavior. Hindsight is 20/20. So, this is one thing I am sure to keep in mind when meeting new people.
Sudden Slow Change?
Yes, it happened kind of like this. Postings on social media changed. Spending habits and messaging habits changed. At the time I thought it was a new job, new responsibilities and so it was not significant. Or so I thought. I thought wrong.
So even small changes in your partner can be signs of significant changes in a relationship. However, pulling the wool over my eyes is one thing. But pulling the wool over everyone, including common friends is a whole other experience. This is where I needed to forgive myself and understand that this was not me missing the point but was me and everyone else being coned into a false story.
The One Lie
Once I caught her in one simple lie, the rest came unraveled very quickly. Once I got the one piece of the puzzle the rest as they say is history.
Lesson learned?
Well yes and no. Will I be as trusting as I was before? I hope so. Will I be more alert than I was before? Of fuck yeah! One little thing will be called out… I am sorry but once bitten twice shy. So yes, be loving, be trusting… But above all be alert to even minor changes in your partner’s behavior and you may save yourself the heartache.
