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Stop the Hearsay Nonsense

Skin Color Doesn’t Matter!

A TikTok Comment That Got Me Thinking

So I’m scrolling TikTok the other day, and someone left a comment on my video: “Why do all Bule men prefer dark-skinned women?” If you’re not familiar, Bule is Indonesian slang for a Caucasian guy like me. I didn’t get mad or offended because, honestly, I don’t sweat the small stuff. But what bugged me was the assumption. This woman was just tossing out a lazy stereotype like it’s gospel truth. When I asked her how she came up with it, her response? “My friends told me.” That’s it. No facts, no logic, just pure uneducated hearsay. And that’s why I’m writing this—to set the record straight and show everyone that skin color doesn’t matter in relationships.

The Problem with Generalizations

Let’s break it down. This woman’s comment wasn’t just a one-off. I’ve noticed this kind of thinking before, especially among some Indonesian women. They see a white guy with a darker-skinned Indonesian woman and suddenly think every Bule has the same taste. It’s like they spot one couple and decide it’s a universal law. But that’s not how people work. Attraction isn’t some cookie-cutter thing you can boil down to skin color. It’s lazy, it’s wrong, and it’s time we stop letting these generalizations slide.

Why do these ideas even stick around? Because people spread hearsay without questioning it. Someone hears something from a friend, repeats it, and suddenly it’s “common knowledge.” But it’s not knowledge—it’s noise. We need to do better. We need to educate ourselves and others instead of assuming every foreigner fits into a neat little box.

My Story: Proof Skin Color Doesn’t Define Attraction

Now, let me get personal because I’m a credible guy to talk about this. My dating history is all over the map when it comes to skin color. My ex-wife? Indonesian, not super dark, not super white, just somewhere in the middle. My ex-girlfriends? Some were dark, some were very pale. I’ve been with women across the spectrum because, for me, it’s never been about their skin. It’s about who they are, their vibe, their heart. And I’m not some outlier—most people, if you ask them, will say the same thing. Attraction is about connection, not a checklist of physical traits.

My experiences show that love doesn’t care about skin color, and I bet you’ve seen that too. Think about the couples you know. Are they all cookie-cutter matches based on skin tone? Doubt it. So why do we let these stereotypes keep spreading? It’s time to shut them down.

How to Stop the Hearsay Nonsense

Here’s the deal: we need to educate people and stop the cycle of talking crap. If you hear someone say something like “Bule men only like dark-skinned women,” don’t just nod along. Challenge it. Ask them where they got that idea. Nine times out of ten, they’ll mumble something about “a friend said” or “I just heard it.” That’s your chance to set them straight.

Better yet, talk to people directly. If you’re curious about what someone’s into, ask them. Don’t rely on gossip from your friend’s cousin’s neighbor. Real conversations cut through the noise and get to the truth. And the truth is, people are different, relationships are different, and attraction is way more complex than skin color.

Why Skin Color Should Never Matter

At the end of the day, love is about people, not pigments. Skin color is just one tiny part of who someone is, and it’s irrelevant when it comes to real connection. I’ve seen it in my own life, and you’ve probably seen it in yours too. The sooner we stop obsessing over stereotypes and start seeing people for who they are, the better off we’ll all be.

So let’s make a pact: no more lazy assumptions. No more spreading hearsay. Next time you hear a stereotype about who someone “should” be with, call it out. Ask questions. Start a conversation. Because when we do that, we’re not just debunking myths—we’re building a world where people are valued for who they are, not what they look like.

Have you ever heard a silly stereotype about relationships? Drop it in the comments below and let’s talk about why it’s nonsense. Or share this post to spread the word that skin color doesn’t matter. Let’s educate together!



Zsolt Zsemba

Zsolt Zsemba has worn many different hats. He has been an entrepreneur, and businessman for over 30 years. Living abroad has given him many amazing experiences in life and also sparked his imagination for writing. After moving to Canada from Hungary at the age of 10 and working in a family business for a large part of his life. The switch from manufacturing to writing came surprisingly easily for him. His passion for writing began at age 12, mostly writing poetry and short stories. In 1999, the chance came to write scripts. Zsolt took some time off from his family business to write in Jakarta Indonesia for MD Entertainment. Having written dozens of soap operas and made for TV movies, in 2003 Zsolt returned to the family business once more. In 2018, he had the chance to head back to Asia once again. He took on the challenge to be the COO for MD Pictures and get back into the entertainment business. The entertainment business opened up the desire to write once more and the words began to flow onto the pages again. He decided to rewrite a book he began years ago. Organ House was reborn and is a fiction suspense novel while Scars is a young adult drama focused on life’s challenges. After the first two books, his desire to write not only became more challenging but enjoyable as well. After having several books completed he was convinced to publish them for your enjoyment. Zsolt does not tend to stay in one specific genre but tends to lean towards strong female leads and horror. Though he also has a few human interest books, he tends to write about whatever brews in his brain for a while.