Searching for a Bule husband.
(Not meant to be racist, I am presenting facts from my TikTok)
Yes, this topic blew up on my blog and the search for more “white” husbands is going strong. While TikTok is a small slice of a very large pie, all I can say is…
Will you marry me? comes up on nearly every TikTok live I do. So here is a bit of a background on the white/foreign husband road I am going to take you down on. Please don’t be upset. This is happening in real-time on my TikTok. While I find it hilarious it is also true. If you don’t believe me… Check out my TikTok.
Let’s poke the hornet’s nest!
Well, this is gonna cause some problems… Ok maybe not, but hang in here a minute. I am living in Indonesia, and I have lived here on and off for many years. My first trip to Indonesia was in 1998/99 at the end of the Indonesian crisis.
While it was a long time ago, the Bule/Foreigner/White husband was always some sort of a novelty here. Mostly because a foreigner made more money and offered status in society. This was the thinking back then and I doubt it has changed much. It has changed a little bit in recent times due to the massive influx of foreigners to Bali for example.
As most western men are raised with better education and a different type of upbringing, they tend to see women differently than Indonesian men. Therefore women tend to look to the western culture as more caring, kind, and understanding.
Now, this may or may not be true. The divorce rates are quite high in western countries but that is another matter.
Indonesian women are different…
Well, let’s say the culture here is different and the status of a man is also different. While I do not want to piss anyone off, this blog is not about equality and feminism. No, I do not want to go there. What this is mostly about is the fact that most women see the foreign husband as a better provider, more romantic, caring, and understanding. This may be true. Let’s not piss off Indonesian men here. I have met and know many Indonesian men and on the surface, I do not see a difference. They too are family oriented and take care of their family. On the other hand, they are far stricter than foreign men. Can’t do this and can’t do that is often heard.
The single mom.
So why is this such a big deal? Personally, I think it is in the mind of many Indonesian women that the grass is greener and that the color of your skin makes you a different person. I don’t know the exact answer but the one big thing is…
Many single moms marry foreigners…
Most Indonesian men do not want a woman with a child. So a younger single mom and an older single/divorced foreigner tend to be a match. This is where there is a massive cultural shift. A foreigner does not mind a woman that has had sex or has had a child with another man. While an Indonesian man is less tolerant of this. So this may be an insight. Like I said I do not want to piss off people. Yet if you check the comments on my TikTok it seems that there are hundreds of single moms out there in Indonesia, searching for a good white husband.
Editors note, by Janet Graham:
I don’t understand the attraction. There are plenty of white women who are looking for a man who will be nice to them, treat them well, and are willing to be a more “traditional” woman. However, we are not allowed to be, ppl poke fun at us, and say that we haven’t embraced equality. Dare I say, white men don’t want to put in the effort of getting to know us white women? Women my age, understand the struggles of equality, our generation was the one who pushed through the “glass ceiling”. However, what most men don’t know, realize or want to understand, is that even though we did those things, we’re still women, who have millions of years of brain chemistry that enable us to be women.
Although I enjoy working, I also enjoy baking, laundry, doing the dishes without a dishwasher, having a clean home(that I cleaned myself), looking good, not only for myself but others that I encounter during the day. To sum it up, I enjoy being a homemaker. I never had children, I was too hung up on being a Mom like I had. That being said, I am loving, caring and loyal.