No, It’s not the traffic.
If you mention Indonesia, Jakarta, or Bali to someone that has been here, they will always say the traffic is crazy. Yes, yes, and yes, it is crazy. It can be dealt with, with some planning. Traffic is traffic and we have plenty of traffic in Toronto and North America. It does not bother me.
Maybe it’s the occasional corrupt cop on the street trying to rip you off so he can get lunch or dinner. Nope, not the cops. The times I have been pulled over; I met a nice cop that I paid off for some traffic infraction he made up. We laughed and off we went. In one case he even cleared a major intersection for me so I could get through. Though I did pay…
What could it be?
You may think it’s the numerous taxi offers from cars passing by calling out “Transport mister, transport?” No, not those guys either. Though they can be annoying and often one cannot help but look in the direction of the honk and make eye contact. But no, it’s not them.
Ah, you are thinking the many massage girls are annoying as they heckle or sometimes even grab you to go to some back-room massage. They are annoying but no, not them either.
Neither are the ladyboys in some parts of Kuta calling out to you in their sexiest female impersonation with their Adam’s apple bulging out. I laugh, I smile and walk a little quicker to get out of their line of sight but it’s not that either.
What and whom?
Well, if you have visited establishments in Indonesia or Bali sometimes the nicest restaurants with amazing food can have one incredible letdown.
It’s the potty!
Yes, it’s the toilets… Oh for the love of God someone please do an Instagram page on the nicest and the worst toilets in Indonesia. Maybe it’s my next calling. Maybe I can be a toilet critic? I mean forget the food, it’s too easy. How many people say that the food is shit and they have had better?
Everyone always says, it’s good and goes on to make amazing videos to get good views. However, the toilets in Indonesia are absolute shitholes. No pun intended but come on. When there is no toilet paper, well that’s one thing. I take my own. When there is no running water to wash your hands, you can use wet wipes.
No toilet seat? Well, now you need to be in good shape to hover over the toilet to take a dump. Or if possible, use the squatting toilets. Harder for some than others. But this is a big BUT. Most places are filthy, and they always make me second-guess the kitchen and the food.
You know what I mean. (You Indo people)
Why is it that the toilets are so damn filthy? In many restaurants, the staff will use the same facilities as the patrons. So, you are telling me you cannot see this? Are you blind? Where are the managers of these places? Where are the owners of these establishments and are they blind?
It is the little things that people need to figure out. It is the full experience of the visit. However, the dining experience is somewhat diminished by the dirty toilets. So please, to all the businesses out there, clean up for crying out loud. Or I may just start making content about toilets.
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Zsolt Zsemba 