How I love the dark, the depths of which I could reach…
I welcome you back, it’s been a while. The sunshine and blue skies had won me over. I have missed you, my dear friend. The days and nights we’ve spent together were often ones I’d rather ignore. I now know you were never far… Deep in the recesses of my mind, you lurked and hid and forewarned me often, but I didn’t listen. You have been ignored, you have been silenced.
Speak to me my old companion, tell me all that is on your mind.
I welcome you always… My deepest thoughts, and to you, I thank my clarity. Your presence should bring tears to my eyes. I must admit I have been close, but you’ve taught me not to lose. I have reached out to you so we can chat. Let’s take a walk down memory lane and you can remind me why you are here.
Yes, yes I know, when you reach out to me you have so much to say but I often neglect you, my friend. You have been right, correct so often, yet here we are once more. The dark clouds have hovered, I know. The rain and storm I thought were only the seasons changing. I was wrong and you were right. The thunder you brought was a warning. I should have listened, I shut you down, but you knew. The signs were there, you told me so… The gut feeling, the butterflies, the tingle I felt in the dark recesses of my mind. I knew it, I felt it, I heard you I swear. The truth hurts and cuts like a knife but life… I choose life instead of death.
You give me strength and foresight, you give me hope.
You tell me we have been here before. You give me resilience and embrace me with the delights of your darkness. Wrapped in your dark abyss I can see the stars. You are here for a reason, as a warning and forewarning.
I need to learn to listen, I need to learn to feel. I need to know that you are near. My shadow, my consciousness, hold my hand and guide me with your comforting touch. We have been separated for too long, I now yearn for you and flourish once more. You by my side I feel strong, invincible, and powerful. Feed me with your darkness, fill me with your deepest, darkest, and most powerful beliefs.
Let me weigh the good and the sinfulness you offer. I cocoon myself with your darkest thoughts. Force me to feel what I have been missing. Push, me shove me, show me how to see the slightest light in the darkest of nights. Support me, lift me up, set me straight. Don’t let me stray, stay close to me and help me heal. I have missed you, my friend, I truly have. Please don’t leave me in this mess. I will sleep and get some rest, stay by my side, hold me tight, and set things right… I’ll embrace you I promise you.
Zsolt Zsemba 