I no longer fear death and evil.  

Posted byZsolt ZsembaPosted inblog,Tags:, , , , , , ,

I do not fear.

We all have darkness inside of us. It hides away in the back of our minds and deep in our hearts. Something strange, unnerving, and unsettling. The strange thoughts that shock us and often we hold back on acting on these thoughts. Thoughts and feelings that we will never share with anyone.  

Words that we dare not say or express. Thoughts that we can never bring to life. We live and struggle with such love, hate, and anger. Hidden deep inside is a pain that we can never set free. For the words and thoughts, themselves would crush us if expressed. Such is the power of words and the thoughts we manifest within ourselves. Struggling with this never-ending cycle of love hate and self-doubt we battle through life. Each day the fear of darkness overcoming our minds and bodies. We live with the struggle…  

Waiting for the next best thing. Hoping for another chance and waiting for a love that never comes. In this dark and torturous life, we slave only to wake up and start another day. The never-ending cycle of life, happiness, hate, depression, and anxiety. Depressed, angry, sad and weary, fighting, aching, and out of breath. Chasing dreams down dead-end streets and highways of hell we built in the subconsciousness of our minds. We constructed walls so high… Barbed wire all around us keeps those deep, angry, and dangerous thoughts from escaping through our zipped-up lips. 

With these thoughts, we live our lives, unable to share this fear that one day we could or should shed this facade of ourselves. We hope to one day meet another so that we may be able to express each thought and each dangerous word we share with ourselves. 

Those days, those thoughts we take to our graves, because that person, that strange love never comes. That person who we dream of can never assist us, they elude us, maybe fear us. In the darkness, we suffer, blind and unwilling to speak up. We walk, run and hide even though we see the light we are terrified. We refuse to set ourselves free, we are afraid to take the chance, fearful of the light and failure. Cuffed and bound by our darkness, we suffer endlessly, and needlessly in this world, we call life. A life we construct and deconstruct deep within the darkness of our numbed and dumbed down minds. 

I want to shed this shadow that follows me, the thunder and lightning that’s above me. The monster of evil that has a grip on me. But… I have yet to find a soul strong enough who is willing to listen and take away this burden I carry. Once that soul with a heart of gold is here to light up my world and chase away the darkness… Only then will my soul rest in peace. Until then I dart from place to place, seeking shelter in this race. 

Find your darkness, find a matching soul to share your apocalypse. To share your freakiest fears, hopes, and nightmares with. For once those words are spoken, your heart and soul may crumble and die. Only then will peace set upon your soul and mine. 

Until then I wait… 

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Published by Zsolt Zsemba

Zsolt Zsemba has worn many different hats. He has been an entrepreneur, and businessman for over 30 years. Living abroad has given him many amazing experiences in life and also sparked his imagination for writing. After moving to Canada from Hungary at the age of 10 and working in a family business for a large part of his life. The switch from manufacturing to writing came surprisingly easily for him. His passion for writing began at age 12, mostly writing poetry and short stories. In 1999, the chance came to write scripts. Zsolt took some time off from his family business to write in Jakarta Indonesia for MD Entertainment. Having written dozens of soap operas and made for TV movies, in 2003 Zsolt returned to the family business once more. In 2018, he had the chance to head back to Asia once again. He took on the challenge to be the COO for MD Pictures and get back into the entertainment business. The entertainment business opened up the desire to write once more and the words began to flow onto the pages again. He decided to rewrite a book he began years ago. Organ House was reborn and is a fiction suspense novel while Scars is a young adult drama focused on life’s challenges. After the first two books, his desire to write not only became more challenging but enjoyable as well. After having several books completed he was convinced to publish them for your enjoyment. Zsolt does not tend to stay in one specific genre but tends to lean towards strong female leads and horror. Though he also has a few human interest books, he tends to write about whatever brews in his brain for a while.

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