Torn down to the bare bone, there is nothing left… Been tried and tested, yet this time, this one time I have failed. I have walked in pain and misery. I have given up and gotten back again. Time and time again I have pulled myself out of the gutter and come back from the edge of hell.
This time I feel broken and alone. I felt I had strength and courage but no more. Aching from being pulled apart, bit by bit I am being pulled to pieces. Gnawing away at myself. Piranhas chomping away at my flesh. In torture, I forgive you all…
Yet deep inside I feel this hate, broken I am in despair. Grasping at the threads of life, can I pull myself up once more or do I die?
Give up and run away? Crawl away and shrivel up? Or flourish again, give it one last hurrah?
I think to myself, surrounded by confusion and clouds of doubt. Fighting away the tears. I find myself drowning in thought. Grasping at straws and bits and pieces of positive thoughts. Memories that once made me smile, crumble slowly, it’s all a lie.
Even sunsets on the beach I once loved are littered with negativity and doubt.
Where did the hell storms come about? When did the devil and evil take control? Sucked dry the willpower I once held so proudly.
I am broken and do not feel… This path I am on cannot be real. I try so hard to stand up and run away. I cannot, I am broken beyond a shadow of a doubt.
I try to take a deep breath and look at the sky. My life is spinning out of control, down and down I spin, and I lose my breath. Choking myself with my bare hands. Dizziness comes over me, I cannot sleep, think or run away. Paralyzed by fear, this nightmare has taken hold.
I am broken, I seek no answers. I give up, I am but a shell. Ready to never walk again… I am broken can you not see? How did you gain control over me?