I Am Broken.

Torn down to the bare bone, there is nothing left… Been tried and tested, yet this time, this one time I have failed. I have walked in pain and misery. I have given up and gotten back again. Time and time again I have pulled myself out of the gutter and come back from the edge of hell.

This time I feel broken and alone. I felt I had strength and courage but no more. Aching from being pulled apart, bit by bit I am being pulled to pieces. Gnawing away at myself. Piranhas chomping away at my flesh. In torture, I forgive you all…

Yet deep inside I feel this hate, broken I am in despair. Grasping at the threads of life, can I pull myself up once more or do I die?

Give up and run away? Crawl away and shrivel up? Or flourish again, give it one last hurrah?

I think to myself, surrounded by confusion and clouds of doubt. Fighting away the tears. I find myself drowning in thought. Grasping at straws and bits and pieces of positive thoughts. Memories that once made me smile, crumble slowly, it’s all a lie.

Even sunsets on the beach I once loved are littered with negativity and doubt.

Where did the hell storms come about? When did the devil and evil take control? Sucked dry the willpower I once held so proudly.

I am broken and do not feel… This path I am on cannot be real. I try so hard to stand up and run away. I cannot, I am broken beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I try to take a deep breath and look at the sky. My life is spinning out of control, down and down I spin, and I lose my breath. Choking myself with my bare hands. Dizziness comes over me, I cannot sleep, think or run away. Paralyzed by fear, this nightmare has taken hold.

I am broken, I seek no answers. I give up, I am but a shell. Ready to never walk again… I am broken can you not see? How did you gain control over me?

Published by Zsolt Zsemba

Zsolt Zsemba has worn many different hats. He has been an entrepreneur, and businessman for over 30 years. Living abroad has given him many amazing experiences in life and also sparked his imagination for writing. After moving to Canada from Hungary at the age of 10 and working in a family business for a large part of his life. The switch from manufacturing to writing came surprisingly easily for him. His passion for writing began at age 12, mostly writing poetry and short stories. In 1999, the chance came to write scripts. Zsolt took some time off from his family business to write in Jakarta Indonesia for MD Entertainment. Having written dozens of soap operas and made for TV movies, in 2003 Zsolt returned to the family business once more. In 2018, he had the chance to head back to Asia once again. He took on the challenge to be the COO for MD Pictures and get back into the entertainment business. The entertainment business opened up the desire to write once more and the words began to flow onto the pages again. He decided to rewrite a book he began years ago. Organ House was reborn and is a fiction suspense novel while Scars is a young adult drama focused on life’s challenges. After the first two books, his desire to write not only became more challenging but enjoyable as well. After having several books completed he was convinced to publish them for your enjoyment. Zsolt does not tend to stay in one specific genre but tends to lean towards strong female leads and horror. Though he also has a few human interest books, he tends to write about whatever brews in his brain for a while.

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