Do you know what I mean?
I decided that today it shall rain. Pay tribute to all that awake with pain. Make them see and feel that they are not alone. No, I am not in pain, nor am I lost. Maybe in my thoughts, I have slipped up. It is but a mere moment I have come across. It’s a fleeting second where my brain let me down. Come, come here, pick me up off the ground. In the thick of things, my mind has wandered. This day is gloomy and murky, I have lost my way. My compass is broken, I walk in circles, and I sit and wait.
With the rain, I weep this morning.
Why do you weep; I ask myself.
The rain reminds me of you, I said.
Darkness, cold, and hopelessness.
In the morning when I awake.
Was still dark from the night before.
I await the glow of day.
Anxiety and fear fill my head.
Now I think of heading back to bed.
With the rain, I shed my tears.
Raindrops are my camouflage.
No one can see my tears today.
The misery I hide, the happiness I seek.
I oppose myself each day and night.
Nothing appears to be going right.
I await you at dawn, my love.
You shed light on my darkness.
Yet satisfaction you do not bring.
With each day, my hope fades.
May I awake one more day?
Save me before I choose not to rise.
Save me, help me… Let me be. I want you; I need you… Go away. Let me sulk in my darkness, I want more pain. Come take me away to a better place.
Why do you torture me so? Why do you make me think and think some more? Why do you sit on my shoulders and weigh me down? I put you on a soft pillow, each night. I hope for peace, yet you never stop. I try to turn you off, but you never stop. This is why I need the rain, so I may pour out all the pain.
BTW I am fine, it is just a poem for today because it rained.
poetry, poem, depression, anxiety, overthinking, pain, fear, hopelessness, overthinking, mental health, darkness, suicide,
#poem #poetry #depression #anxiety #overthinking #pain #fear #hoplessness #mentalhealth #darkness #suicide
Zsolt Zsemba 