Don’t be afraid to say no.
Being happy is not the secret. No one can be happy all the time. The secret to a happy life is not to be happy every single moment of the day. It’s doing what makes you happy for one and dealing with things in a somewhat selfish way.
Don’t be afraid to say no. No this or that does not suit me. This or that is not something I am comfortable doing. By saying no, you are not putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. By saying no, you are protecting yourself from possible triggers or situations where you do not feel safe.
If you say yes to something you don’t want to do., you are at fault. Take someone with you that knows you may be vulnerable and know that they have your back.
Know your limits.
If you are an alcoholic, going wine tasting is not going to be good for you. If you are going to go take along someone that can help you. In case you feel the need to drink you have that angel on your shoulder telling you guiding you to behave.
I have met recovering alcoholics that have the willpower to not drink. I have met a few alcoholics that cannot be anywhere near alcohol. This is but one example. A person allergic to peanuts should certainly not go to a peanut butter factory.
Why is it that we can differentiate a peanut allergy from a personal trigger? The same thing applies to your personal happiness.
Be aware.
There will always be happiness and sadness in life. Death of a family member. Car accidents, personal injury or job loss will always be the roller coaster of our life. It is how we deal with the situations and maintain our composure and know how we will react to that situation.
Knowing yourself and being aware of your reaction to those hiccups in life is where happiness and being content will be your new strong point. Do what makes you happy and not what others think will make you happy. This is not a recipe to follow because it is too vague. But the awareness that you can lean on will be your saviour.
What’s next? SWOT.
From part one to part thirteen this has been about you. Not the other person. By putting yourself and your needs first you need to find yourself. Identify the good the bad and the ugly. Do it for your partner as well. Let each other know your SWOT. Strength, weakness, opportunities and threats. While SWOT is used for business you can perform one on yourself. If you hate numbers and taxes and your partner is good at it you have a weakness and strengths within this. If they cannot boil water and you can cook you’ve got a good team. The idea is to make yourself and your life easier by getting to acknowledge yourself. This awareness will bring clarity and light to your life.
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