No one will complete you.
If you don’t do it for yourself then who will you do it for? The saying “happy wife happy life” should be changed. Happy you, happy life should be the rework. Only because without your personal happiness your relationships and your life will not be happy. Your life will always be lacking something if you are not happy.
No one will complete you unless you are complete. This may not make sense because there may be a certain someone that makes you happy. That may all be true. But at the same time that is a patch. If you are unhappy from within no other individual will be able to fix you. Life is not a song by Coldplay. It is not a video clip where everything will be okay once you sing a song.
Be free as a bird.
Look for someone to compliment you and not to fix you. You can lead a horse to water… You don’t want to be the person leading and you don’t want to be the horse. You need to be you. Eventually, the other person may get tired of trying to fix you. Especially if you have identified your faults and you are not working on fixing those faults.
You need to feel free. Free as a bird so you can fly around and be free. Sing like a bird and be as free as one before you get stuck in a rut. Don’t be the bird in the cage. Don’t let anyone put you in a cage. Life is too short. Find someone you can be free with.
It’s ok not to be perfect.
No one is perfect. What we can be is aware. Be aware of your red flags and be aware of your triggers. Inform your partner. Let them know what you are okay with and what you are not okay with.
If one day you freak out because they brought a puppy home or a snake for example and you are terrified of puppies or snakes, how were they to know? The same goes for your feelings, vices and triggers.
There is no reason to tell someone. Every single detail of your life. But let them know and talk about the little things that make you special. If they can’t deal with you… If you cannot deal with them then be done with it. Soar together and enjoy life together.
Be happy together and alone.
I have known a few people in my life that cannot be alone. They freak out at the thought of being alone. So they latch on to people even though they are well aware that the relationship is a waste of time.
The drive to be in a relationship and being able to say that they have a partner outweighs the need for the right partner. This method does not work but the fear of being alone is the problem. This does not equal a stable loving relationship because it is a relationship based on the fear of being alone. Together or alone, the relationship is doomed.
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Zsolt Zsemba 