Doing more.
Doing more of what makes you happy is easy. But is it sustainable and beneficial to you? Drugs and alcohol can make you happy for a short time. This type of happiness is not recommended as it is not happiness. It is a chemically induced state. Not that one should not drink and party but care needs to be taken.
General happiness lies within you. Only you can be happy but you may need help. You may need the positive reinforcement I mentioned before. Taking small steps to better yourself is the way to go. Doing one push-up or a burpee and then doing two is 100 percent improvement. Doing two laps around the block versus the one is a giant step forward. Do not be afraid.
Be your own cheerleader.
Why do we all need affirmation from others? Why do we seek out praise from friends and family? We want our accomplishments to be noticed. We want to be seen and seen positively by others. In reality, we are pretty much all the same.
When I lived in a subdivision I always shovelled my neighbour’s section of the sidewalk that was to the left of my house. I didn’t do it for praise I did it because it sort of looked like it belonged to my house. I did the same for the grass. The plot between our houses and the front section of their lawn was always mowed.
No one paid me or told me to do it. I liked how it looked and I am sure they appreciated it. I did it for me and my house. But it made me feel good. At Christmas time I had a knock on the door and she brought over some goodies in appreciation.
It felt great to be positively reinforced by my gestures and the interesting part was that we had sold our house. My neighbour felt the need to thank me before we moved away. I acted selfishly in one way. I wanted the property to look good. I did it for myself and got rewarded in the end.
My old, old neighbour.
When our family first moved to Toronto in 1979 we had a retired neighbour who was from Ireland. He and his wife had lived in the area for decades. They were very curious as to who was moving in next door. We didn’t speak English so it took us a while to get to know each other.
This couple was always so nice to us and always so helpful. They taught us the ropes so to speak about the neighbourhood and always looked out for us.
One time when we locked ourselves out of the house as kids they invited us in and gave us hot chocolate. We waited for our parents to come home. There was no reward for them, there was no prize, they did it because they were nice people.
They gave us their old television because they got a new one. They were simply nice people. Maybe I can claim that their ways of being neighbourly rubbed off on me? I don’t know, but I am sure I learned something from them way back then.
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Zsolt Zsemba 