The story of a single dad.
My story is quite simple. I managed and I put my daughter through university. My son finished high school and Covid hit so his plans were put on hold.
I have heard horror stories of divorced dads and single moms. Many didn’t end well, many struggled and struggle to this day. Up to a point, I was lucky. I did an admirable job on my own. Yes, I had help but the most amount of help came from my kids. My kids were my greatest helpers. Once they were older we split chores. A quick dusting, vacuuming and a load of laundry here and there gave us the time to go on vacations, weekends away and time out for dinner and movies.
In the end, the most amazing thing in my story was teamwork. Or in this case, the family making things work rather than dwelling on the fact that we were a broken family.
How to survive as a single dad.
Surviving this was not hard. Dealing with many things along the way such as passports. Getting the paperwork together for lawyers and the actual legal aspect I would say was much more stressful than the single dad part.
The hardest part was trying to explain all the time how I managed full custody of two children. It wasn’t my bad intention that gave me custody of my two children. Rather the lack of action on my ex’s part.
I don’t mind explaining to people the story. When I do they usually feel bad since they were expecting a different story I am sure. Survival on my part was sacrifice. I did what I needed and I was not selfish. The kids came first and I came second. People need to understand that.
How to manage time for kids and for friends as a single dad.
This was all rolled into one. Thank goodness that in the area I lived in, many of my high school friends also settled in. When the kids showed up at school, I bumped into quite a few friends that had kids going to the same grade school as my son.
This was a funny turn of events. I never would have guessed that when I was in high school I would be meeting some of my friends at the school playground. We chatted about this when our kids played outside or arranged playdates. Reminiscing about high school while our kids played felt strange.
Later the kids could come and watch me play soccer and hang around the playground or we could go to birthday parties. The point is that friends and kids came together.
Conclusion: All this was not easy. In the end, we all needed to stay strong. Being a single dad is not a death sentence. It is a series of compromises and making sure that the kid’s needs come before yours.
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Zsolt Zsemba 