Addiction and mental health 8.

The Mental Health of us All 

The Blame Goes to The? 

Everyone says that there must be a turning point for everyone. There was a turning point for my then spouse to begin drinking. There is a turning point when one hits rock bottom and then there are turning points to recovery. 

All of these pain points boil down to one thing, cause and effect. Also, there are issues that need to be raised from the past and the mental state of a person. Does mental illness play a part in all of this? The short answer for my story is a resounding yes! 

How do I know this? Well, the total diagnosis of my spouse was rather surprising in the end but I did know the source of all this. Unfortunately, it was all after the fact. 

Two Worlds Collide. Indonesia vs Canada. 

Amazing how so many people from the East, want to go to the West. Many of them are in for a culture shock and don’t know how to handle it. This was part of the downfall in my situation. A good mix of culture shock, with a dose of long winters and an eccentric spouse who would go out in shorts during the winter to show Mother Nature that she was not going to give in to her ways and that she is stronger than the cold. 

Go figure, it didn’t quite go that way. These little things played into the mental aspect of her behaviour. The fact that when there is a massive snowstorm and the busses, cars and planes are cancelled it is not a good idea to keep your plans. There was a certain amount of stupidity and stubbornness that came along with her mental issues. Canada was and is a different country. The people, the culture and the weather all played a part in her downward spiral. In cold countries people go out less, there are fewer activities and her drinking began during winter. 

Turn for the worse. The Drunkenness Continued. 

Everyone has a tipping point… Mine came when the fire department came to the house as a pot was left on while my ex went to get the kids from school. Things like this can and do happen. Luckily nothing was set on fire and after we aired out the house things were back to normal. 

This however was not the big problem. The big problem came when I had the thought that she may have been drunk, and picked up the kids while intoxicated. This was a big problem. Endangering and abusing yourself was one thing, but when the kids are involved and you are a threat to the public because you are drinking… Well, this, this bit had to stop. 

Drinking and driving. An Alcoholic lies? 

This was a moment of confrontation. Some arguments are big, some are bigger and some are gigantic. This falls on the point of gigantic! I was on good terms with the principal at the Montessori School and after our very heated argument over driving drunk, being drunk and denial I asked for help. I was amazed at how hard it was for me to admit to an outsider that my wife and our family was dealing with an alcoholic. The admission alone was killing me but didn’t hurt as much as losing a family member. The thought of my wife and the kids hurt or worse was enough for me to overcome my pride. The next day our plan was to see if my wife at the time was picking up our kids under the influence or not… 

mental health, mental illness, mental disorder, mental illness affects family, how does a family cope with a mentally ill member, support for a mentally ill family member, how to help mentally ill family members, alcoholism, addiction, 

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Published by Zsolt Zsemba

Zsolt Zsemba has worn many different hats. He has been an entrepreneur, businessman for over 30 years. Living abroad has given him many amazing experiences in life and also sparked his imagination for writing. After moving to Canada from Hungary at the age of 10 and working in a family business for a large part of his life. The switch from manufacturing to writing came surprisingly easily for him. His passion for writing began at age 12, mostly writing poetry and short stories. In 1999, the chance came to write scripts. Zsolt took some time off from his family business to write in Jakarta Indonesia for MD Entertainment. Having written dozens of soap operas and made for TV movies, in 2003 Zsolt returned to the family business once more. In 2018, he had the chance to head back to Asia once again. He took on the challenge to be the COO for MD Pictures and get back into the entertainment business. The entertainment business opened up the desire to write once more and the words began to flow onto the pages again. He decided to rewrite a book he began years ago. Organ House was reborn and is a fiction suspense novel while Scars is a young adult drama focused on life’s challenges. After the first two books, his desire to write not only became more challenging but enjoyable as well. After having several books completed he was convinced to publish them for your enjoyment. Zsolt does not tend to stay in one specific genre but tends to lean towards strong female leads and horror. Though he also has a few human interest books, he tends to write about whatever brews in his brain for a while.

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