Addiction and mental health 6.

Confronting The Alcoholic?  

How do You Intervene with an Alcoholic?  

After I got a call from my ex’s boss that her work was suffering, I realized I needed to say something. This was easier because it was not coming from me. Someone else outside the family had noticed.  

Always good to get a little support from outsiders and talking to others helps one realize that they are not in the wrong. This was to be a different conversation because it was work related.  

Discussions such as this are difficult and starting such a conversation, you find yourself talking to yourself and going over it in your mind. Like asking out someone for a date, you are afraid of rejection or in this case another fight.  

The Emotional Aspect. Confronting a Drunk. 

Being called a drunk seems much harsher than an alcoholic but it’s the same shit, different pile. When I finally got around to this important matter, I had pulled together all the collective knowledge from the internet and set off. 

Trying to make this about the family and work and how this is going a bit deeper than we had anticipated we need to talk. It was all about caring and support and how we can help. Well, the talk went exactly as predicted. The chat went nowhere because the admission was not there. She claimed it was a mix-up and she would fix it. But the cat and mouse game went on and the bottles lined up two by two now behind the plywood. It was incredible to see how alcohol can be consumed at the same rate as water.  

Our Daughter Knew. Alcoholism Affected the Family. 

Since our daughter was about 9, she knew that her mother was not well. She knew that the alcoholism in the family was a real thing. She knew that the lies or miss use of words from mom were because of her drunkenness and so I decided to have a chat with her.  

We had a long chat and as I explained things, it was evident that she knew. She knew from the behaviour of her mom and me that things were not ok. I showed her the line of bottles behind the plywood and by this time I knew I needed her to know and to be on my side.  

I know it seems selfish, but I had two kids and a drunk wife to deal with nearly every evening now. These things all came together, and things slowly became worse. The dark clouds still loomed over us, and the thunderstorms came more often. More arguments, fights, disagreements and so on.  

Showing my daughter the bottles was a plan for me… May not have been a good one but it was my plan. 

Guilt and Admission. Alcoholics Lie. 

My absolutely brilliant plan was to guilt her into admission as my daughter and I confront her. The plan I thought was simple and effective. But as luck would have it, it was not. The confrontation was a flop. We are all crazy, yes, she drinks a little too much, but all is well. It’s just wine and there is nothing wrong.  

Not what we wanted and no positive outcome at all. There was guilt and there was an admission, but the lies… Well, back we went and this time it grew into a massive fight. My ammunition was the bottles, the dozens of bottles in the garage.  

Unfortunately, we were both mentally exhausted and dealing with issues of our own now. Mine was the family, doing nearly all the housework and taking care of the kids. This confrontation with the bottles was a win for me. 

Published by Zsolt Zsemba

Zsolt Zsemba has worn many different hats. He has been an entrepreneur, businessman for over 30 years. Living abroad has given him many amazing experiences in life and also sparked his imagination for writing. After moving to Canada from Hungary at the age of 10 and working in a family business for a large part of his life. The switch from manufacturing to writing came surprisingly easily for him. His passion for writing began at age 12, mostly writing poetry and short stories. In 1999, the chance came to write scripts. Zsolt took some time off from his family business to write in Jakarta Indonesia for MD Entertainment. Having written dozens of soap operas and made for TV movies, in 2003 Zsolt returned to the family business once more. In 2018, he had the chance to head back to Asia once again. He took on the challenge to be the COO for MD Pictures and get back into the entertainment business. The entertainment business opened up the desire to write once more and the words began to flow onto the pages again. He decided to rewrite a book he began years ago. Organ House was reborn and is a fiction suspense novel while Scars is a young adult drama focused on life’s challenges. After the first two books, his desire to write not only became more challenging but enjoyable as well. After having several books completed he was convinced to publish them for your enjoyment. Zsolt does not tend to stay in one specific genre but tends to lean towards strong female leads and horror. Though he also has a few human interest books, he tends to write about whatever brews in his brain for a while.

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