Addiction and mental health 5.

Who Suffers More? The Family or The Alcoholic? 

Suffering With an Alcoholic. Do Something? 

Do something, so easy to say, so much harder to do. Being in the middle of a thunderstorm you can seek shelter, hold up an umbrella but that does not stop the rain. All we can do is seek shelter. We shield ourselves from the darkness that has set upon us and while the alcoholic suffers the family suffers equally. 

However, I feel that the mental stress is harder on the family because they feel powerless. Like when your child is ill. You cannot take away the pain or the fever. As much as you want to help, we all know that as an alcoholic, the individual needs to see and understand that they have a problem. Slowly they get it and often still do not admit it. 

It’s a strange situation when both parties see the issues and yet they are at a stalemate. The alcoholic knows that the family sees and yet it’s all masked and hidden in plain sight. 

Talk about it? No This is Not Okay! 

The first admission is the hardest. As I had mentioned in the previous episodes the recycling box was my friend. If you live with an alcoholic there will be games. Fun ones at that. I had been keeping an eye on the bottles in the recycling bin. I noticed that the number of bottles had gone down. 

I was very pleased with myself and thought that some of our conversations must have been heard. I patted myself on the back and took the garbage out. It was not until a few weeks later I noticed that when I put the garbage bags on the road that I heard a clunk. 

To my surprise, there were bottles in the garbage nicely hidden in other garbage. The bottles of wine had not reduced. Instead, they were disguised. So much for feeling good about myself. I had failed and so had she. 

What to do Next? It is All About Documentation 

The games had begun. I said nothing and neither did she. I don’t know if she knew that I knew, and she didn’t know if I knew or not. I went through the garbage each week and placed the empty bottles behind a large full-size piece of plywood in the garage. The cat and mouse game was now on. 

We were Tom and Jerry of the household as this game went on and on. Slowly I noticed the very large row of bottles growing larger over the weeks and saw that the consumption of alcohol was on the rise. 

Confirmation Came. Can an Alcoholic work and function? 

The short answer is yes but my answer is no. One day I had a call from the person my ex was writing for and asked if everything was alright. I had no reason to tell the truth, so I lied and said yes. 

Unfortunately, being a writer and drunk didn’t pair well. The writing of scripts and the episodes that were sent were incoherent and nothing made sense. She was known as a fast writer that needed little to no editing. Ready to shoot scripts was what we were known for. This was now a problem, and it was high time we had an intervention of sorts because she was now having problems with work. It is not easy to confront anyone about personal matters, but it was time. 


Published by Zsolt Zsemba

Zsolt Zsemba has worn many different hats. He has been an entrepreneur, and businessman for over 30 years. Living abroad has given him many amazing experiences in life and also sparked his imagination for writing. After moving to Canada from Hungary at the age of 10 and working in a family business for a large part of his life. The switch from manufacturing to writing came surprisingly easily for him. His passion for writing began at age 12, mostly writing poetry and short stories. In 1999, the chance came to write scripts. Zsolt took some time off from his family business to write in Jakarta Indonesia for MD Entertainment. Having written dozens of soap operas and made for TV movies, in 2003 Zsolt returned to the family business once more. In 2018, he had the chance to head back to Asia once again. He took on the challenge to be the COO for MD Pictures and get back into the entertainment business. The entertainment business opened up the desire to write once more and the words began to flow onto the pages again. He decided to rewrite a book he began years ago. Organ House was reborn and is a fiction suspense novel while Scars is a young adult drama focused on life’s challenges. After the first two books, his desire to write not only became more challenging but enjoyable as well. After having several books completed he was convinced to publish them for your enjoyment. Zsolt does not tend to stay in one specific genre but tends to lean towards strong female leads and horror. Though he also has a few human interest books, he tends to write about whatever brews in his brain for a while.

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