Addiction and Mental Health 3.

The Change Takes Place Slowly 

Noticing The Signs to Alcoholism 

At first, it began with dinners. This is when I first took notice of real change.   
One that I could pinpoint but still I was not convinced. It became a thing to have a glass of wine with dinner. I never drank, I have never been a drinker so I cannot speak for myself. Looking back this was the first sign of what was coming. 

The need to have a glass of wine for dinner was almost like, “Why, why can’t I have a glass of wine?” in a passive aggressive tone was how it came across. This little sign was not obvious at the time and as the answer was “Sure you can have a glass of wine, but every meal?” That is what I had in my mind and as many marriages go, who needs an argument or a fight. A glass of wine was fine with dinner, who would argue that. 

One Glass of Wine, Two Glasses of Wine 

During this time my ex was home alone with the nanny and the kids. The time alone and the time spent writing was probably conducive for her to get worse. At the time this was unknown to me or probably her. 

Also, we noticed a change in her mental state. Back in 2003 mental health and mental wellbeing was not something in the media or on top of mind. Looking back at all this it was clear that something was wrong and something was brewing. The one glass of wine slowly turned into two and because she was home for most of the day, the rest of the day there was no one monitoring the consumption of alcohol. 

It was thanks to the recycling program that I had noticed one day that several bottles were in the trash. 

Recycling? How Did This Happen? 

After a few bottles in the trash, I began to very quietly monitor the alcohol consumption. Turning into an alcoholic didn’t happen overnight. The family was not affected immediately by the drinking. I didn’t rush to Alcoholics Anonymous at the first sight of a bottle. I should have, but I didn’t know any better. 

During this time other small signs showed up and that dark cloud that hung over us was letting out more and more rain. Small arguments here and there sprouted up out of nowhere and this right here was a telltale sign but at the time I didn’t know. I didn’t know how argument and drinking were related but this is something to watch out for. 

Understand the Alcoholic. Think Like an Alcoholic 

Slowly the triggers became smaller and smaller and arguments became fights. Life around the house changed bit by bit. I spent more time with the kids, especially at night. Getting them ready for bed, showers, bedtime stories were all slowly passed on to me. I didn’t mind because we argued less when we were apart. 

While these changes seem simple and these changes were over months and not overnight, it didn’t matter too much. Life went on as it does in most households and things didn’t change too much from this state. It was as if we were in a stalemate. I think we both knew something was wrong but she had something to hide and I wanted peace. With the kids around it was easier for me to tiptoe around than to cause more arguments and fights. Something was wrong, the family was living with an alcoholic. However, at the time we didn’t know. 


Published by Zsolt Zsemba

Zsolt Zsemba has worn many different hats. He has been an entrepreneur, and businessman for over 30 years. Living abroad has given him many amazing experiences in life and also sparked his imagination for writing. After moving to Canada from Hungary at the age of 10 and working in a family business for a large part of his life. The switch from manufacturing to writing came surprisingly easily for him. His passion for writing began at age 12, mostly writing poetry and short stories. In 1999, the chance came to write scripts. Zsolt took some time off from his family business to write in Jakarta Indonesia for MD Entertainment. Having written dozens of soap operas and made for TV movies, in 2003 Zsolt returned to the family business once more. In 2018, he had the chance to head back to Asia once again. He took on the challenge to be the COO for MD Pictures and get back into the entertainment business. The entertainment business opened up the desire to write once more and the words began to flow onto the pages again. He decided to rewrite a book he began years ago. Organ House was reborn and is a fiction suspense novel while Scars is a young adult drama focused on life’s challenges. After the first two books, his desire to write not only became more challenging but enjoyable as well. After having several books completed he was convinced to publish them for your enjoyment. Zsolt does not tend to stay in one specific genre but tends to lean towards strong female leads and horror. Though he also has a few human interest books, he tends to write about whatever brews in his brain for a while.

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