Saying bye to my son was a very sad moment in my life. I had no doubt that he would be alright. Deep down, I felt very guilty for leaving a young adult on his own. Most parents say that their kids are good, well-behaved and responsible. But my son was and is a good kid. He stayed out of trouble and nearly every waking moment he was either making, editing or about to shoot something new.
I have always been involved with both my kids, encouraging them to follow their passions. Now he was encouraging me to do the same.
We were both growing as people. But for him, this was an accelerated learning and growing opportunity. For me, it was a life-altering, life-changing experience. We were both going to be out of our comfort zones and I felt it was a great experience.
I may take a hell of a lot of flak for doing what I did but I had to do it. I had to have a lot of trust in my son to live his life responsibly. My daughter was already an adult. Even though she was moving to Toronto and I was leaving, it was less dramatic. She already had her life together in Ottawa and worked in sales after university.
It was all a coincidence that I was moving away from Toronto and my daughter was moving to Toronto. Such is life and there is not much we can do about it.
As I watched my son walk through the doors at the Jakarta airport and I saw him walk out of sight, I must admit I shed a tear or two…
It was a bittersweet moment for me. I was following my dream and yet I felt awful about it. Not much I could do now as my new life was about to begin. My son was on his way home and only when I got home, did I truly feel alone.
This was not the loneliness one feels after a breakup or after a loss of a parent etc. This wound was self-inflicted.
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